Ted Lasso won 13 Emmy’s and 2 Golden Globes. For me, there is a single scene that sums up why the show was so deserving. It’s the moment Colin Hughes finally comes out to his team.

After seasons of hiding who he was, carrying the quiet weight of secrecy and shame, Colin stands before his teammates and tells them he’s gay. It’s raw, vulnerable, and real. You can feel his fear in the silence that follows. There is a suspended moment when you don’t yet know how people will react. Then, Jamie Tartt breaks the tension and says simply, “It’s fine. We don’t care,” and the entire team agrees.

And honestly, my first reaction was relief. It felt like the right response — simple, accepting, and supportive. It’s the same kind of reaction I’ve had with friends and colleagues in similar situations: Everything is completely fine, I accept you for who you are, You’re still the same person to me, No reason to worry, etc, etc …

But then Ted steps in, in that uniquely Ted way, and reframes everything. He tells them they should care, that they do care, and what Colin shared wasn’t casual. It was courageous. It took honesty, vulnerability, and trust. Ted reminds them that caring isn’t about simply diffusing the situation, it’s about showing up for someone who just took an emotional leap of faith. 

That he doesn’t have to go through it alone. He has their full support.

That’s when I had my own Roy Kent moment — an internal expletive and the realization that I had missed the assignment.

The scene closes with Trent Crimm, the ever-stoic journalist who had quietly known Colin’s truth, indiscreetly summing up what happened. It wasn’t just applause for Colin’s bravery, but for the team’s compassion. It was one of those rare television moments that transcends storytelling. It was a deeply human reminder that inclusion isn’t about indifference; it’s about empathy. The scene felt like a blueprint designed by those who have come out. They showed us all how we all should act in the same situation.

Because that’s what coming out really is — not a grand announcement, but an act of courage. It’s saying, this is who I am, and hoping the world meets you with kindness.

Growing Up in a Different Era

I grew up in the 80s — when coming out could mean rejection, ridicule, or worse. Being gay wasn’t just hard; it could be dangerous. I remember how the topic was whispered, joked about, or ignored completely.

Fast forward to today — I see my teenage daughter surrounded by friends who are open about who they are. Straight, gay, bi, trans, nonbinary. In many ways, it’s just another pronoun in a conversation. It’s not a headline, it’s normal. That’s progress.

And yet… for all that progress, many still hide. Many still fear. Many still ache for the simple freedom to be themselves without judgment or consequence.

We’ve come a long way, but we’re not done walking.

The Psychology of Hiding Who We Are

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), concealing your identity is one of the strongest predictors of chronic stress, anxiety, and depression among LGBTQ+ individuals.

When people feel the need to hide who they are, their brains stay in a near-constant state of alert — an emotional “fight or flight” loop driven by cortisol and adrenaline. Over time, that stress rewires emotional pathways, increasing the risk of depression, insomnia, and social withdrawal.

It’s called minority stress, and it’s very real. It doesn’t just affect mental health; it affects physical health. Hiding increases heart rate, blood pressure, and even inflammation. That pressure can be fatal. Over 60% of suicide attempts among lesbian, gay, and bisexual (LGB) individuals happen within five years of realizing their sexual orientation.

Conversely, studies show that being accepted for who you are can literally reverse those effects. A 2021 study published in JAMA Psychiatry found that LGBTQ+ youth who reported strong family or community support were 45% less likely to experience depression and 40% less likely to attempt suicide. 

That’s the power of belonging.

What Helps: Building a Life You Don’t Have to Hide From

The American Counseling Association (ACA) and National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) both emphasize one clear truth: authenticity is essential to emotional health.

Here are ways to cultivate that authenticity — whether you’re the one coming out, or someone supporting those who are.

If You’re Finding the Courage to Come Out

1. Start where it’s safe.
   Tell one person you trust completely. Saying it out loud breaks the silence and helps you reclaim your voice.

2. Remind yourself: there’s no timeline.
   You don’t owe anyone your story. Come out when you’re ready, not when others expect you to.

3. Create support systems.
   Online and in-person LGBTQ+ communities provide connection and safety. You are never as alone as you think.

4. Work with an affirming therapist.
   Therapy helps you unpack fear, shame, or trauma — and build confidence to live authentically.

5. Celebrate small steps.
   Every time you choose honesty over hiding, you build emotional strength. That’s courage in motion.
   
   

If You’re Supporting Someone Who’s Come Out

1. Listen without commentary.
   They’ve already had the internal debate a thousand times. What they need now is presence, not opinion.

2. Say “thank you for trusting me.”
   It acknowledges the vulnerability in sharing something so deeply personal.

3. Be consistent.
   True support lasts beyond the initial conversation. Keep showing up.

4. Educate yourself.
   Understanding basic LGBTQ+ terminology and challenges prevents accidental harm and fosters empathy.

5. Advocate.
   Whether in your workplace, family, or community — inclusion grows when we speak up, not when we stay comfortable.
   
   

The Science of Acceptance and Self-Worth

Psychologically, being accepted for who you are releases a cascade of positive neurochemicals: dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin — the “connection hormones.”

This isn’t abstract — it’s measurable biology.

The University of Utah found that participants who experienced unconditional acceptance (from family or peers) had significantly lower cortisol levels and improved immune function after only two weeks.

Acceptance doesn’t just make people feel good — it literally makes them healthier.

Walking and Talking: Finding Clarity

If you’ve read my other Ted Lasso articles, you’ll find I endorse a common coping mechanism for mental health, but it truly does the trick: Take a walk and have a mock conversation.

Pop in your earbuds so no one thinks twice, and talk to the people in your life — or even to yourself — about what’s on your mind.

Walking naturally lowers cortisol and increases blood flow to the brain. It helps you process emotions that get trapped in mental clutter. Sometimes, saying things out loud — even just to the air — leads to breakthroughs you didn’t know were waiting.

If you’re struggling to find the words or the courage to come out, try having those mock conversations. Imagine different scenarios and how each one might unfold. Picture what you want to say, how the other person might respond, and how you’d handle each reaction with calm and confidence. Make notes. Preparing mentally and emotionally helps you feel grounded no matter how the moment goes.

Even when practiced alone, the simple act of speaking your truth out loud begins to build the emotional muscle to do it when it truly counts. Each rehearsal strengthens your voice, your self-acceptance, and your readiness to be seen — on your terms, in your time.

Therapy: The Safe Space for Self-Acceptance

Therapy is one of the most powerful places to explore identity. You won’t be told who you are. You will discover who you’ve always been.

The APA calls therapy “the practice of being seen and heard without judgment.” For LGBTQ+ individuals, that can mean the difference between surviving and thriving. 

A study published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology found that participants engaged in affirming therapy showed a 57% reduction in symptoms of anxiety and depression within three months.

That’s what happens when your story is met with empathy instead of evaluation.

And here’s the best part: therapy helps everyone. Straight, gay, questioning, old, young, we all benefit from safe spaces to process what we’ve carried for too long.

Closing Thoughts

Coming out, whether it’s about identity, truth, or emotion, is one of the bravest acts of self-love there is.

As Ted Lasso showed through Colin’s story, real friends don’t just accept you. They celebrate you. They make space for your truth and stay beside you while you grow into it. If you’re struggling to be yourself, remember the goal isn’t to fit in, it’s to belong. Fitting in means changing who you are. Belonging means being loved as who you are.

Keep walking. Keep talking. Keep breathing. And when in doubt, take Ted’s advice: “Be curious, not judgmental.”

Because curiosity is the first step toward compassion. Compassion, in all its forms, is what makes us human.

If You’re Struggling With Identity or Acceptance

You don’t have to face it alone.

Here are trusted organizations that offer resources, affirming therapists, and peer support:

• The Trevor Project: thetrevorproject.org — 24/7 crisis and chat support for LGBTQ+ youth.

Benefit Airship’s BASE Plan also includes mental health counseling at no additional cost. Emotional wellness is just as important as physical health and we encourage every member to take full advantage of this service. Whether you’re managing stress, navigating life changes, or simply wanting to grow personally, professional counseling can make a powerful difference in your overall well-being.

If you’re struggling to come out or facing rejection, please reach out, and take a big step to becoming the best version of you.

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Series: What Ted Lasso Taught Me About Mental Health

If you’ve ever laughed and cried in the same episode of Ted Lasso, you already understand why this show is a gift to mental health awareness. It tackled separation, loss, anxiety, and self-worth with humor and heart — showing that real strength lies in vulnerability.

In this series, I reflect on five life experiences — from divorce to burnout — and what Ted Lasso got right about healing, growth, and connection. Each article connects a personal story with professional insights from the American Psychological Association, National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), and other reputable sources.

The goal isn’t to preach — it’s to normalize. To talk, laugh, cry, and learn — together.