There’s a moment in Ted Lasso that was extremely difficult for a lot of people. Ted’s in therapy, finally talking about his father’s suicide — something he’s buried for decades under smiles, jokes, and optimism. The scene is quiet but gut-wrenching. You can see it in his eyes: grief never leaves, it just learns to sit quietly on your shoulder.

Rebecca Welton’s story mirrored a different kind of pain — losing her father after years of resentment and unresolved emotion. Her grief wasn’t just about death; it was about everything unsaid before it.

Both characters carried their pain differently, but both had to face the same truth: you can’t outrun loss. You can only walk through it.

Talking About Grief Over Dinner

This topic hit close to home for me one night during a dinner party.

A brought up my new found affinity for the show Ted Lasso. It’s a great conversational topic that nearly everyone wants to jump in on. Before long, everyone was sharing stories — not about soccer or biscuits, but about divorce, work, and parents.

One friend lost her parents (one years ago and one more recently) and sees them sending positive messages and thoughts through nature. It’s hard to explain but it’s really cool and comforting.

Another said he’s never really processed his father’s death. And someone else quietly said, “My mom’s still alive, but we’ve grown so far apart that I already feel like I’m grieved her loss.”

It all stuck with me. Because it’s true. It’s a reality we all have to face. Grief has many shapes. Grief doesn’t only begin when someone dies. Sometimes, it begins when we realize we’re running out of time to make peace.

It made me think about my own parents. They’re older now. Our relationship has had its ups and downs but I’m aware that the clock is ticking. I want to make sure I talk, forgive, learn, and love while I can.

The Psychology of Grief

Grief is not just sadness — it’s a full-body experience.

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), grief triggers the same stress pathways as trauma. The amygdala (the brain’s alarm center) goes into overdrive, while the prefrontal cortex (the rational part) struggles to regulate emotion.

That’s why grief feels unpredictable. One minute you’re fine, the next minute you’re crying in a grocery store because of a song or a smell.

Researchers at Yale University found that grief can alter our brain’s neural networks for up to a year, sometimes longer. This can cause fatigue, forgetfulness, and emotional numbness, symptoms that mimic depression but are actually part of the grieving process.

The takeaway: you’re not “broken.” You’re adapting.

Recognizing Different Forms of Grief

Not all grief looks the same. The American Counseling Association (ACA) identifies several forms:

• Anticipatory grief — grieving before the loss, as in watching a parent’s health decline.

• Complicated grief — when the pain feels stuck or unending.

• Delayed grief — when emotions surface months or years later.

• Disenfranchised grief — when society minimizes your loss (like estranged relationships).

Understanding what kind of grief you’re experiencing can help you find the right kind of support.

What Helps: Finding Your Way Through

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) reminds us: there’s no right way to grieve — only your way. But there are healthy ways to move through it.

1. Talk about them often.
   Sharing stories keeps their memory alive and helps your brain integrate loss into daily life.

2. Write letters you’ll never send.
   It helps release unresolved emotions — guilt, anger, love — that don’t have another outlet.

3. Keep rituals.
   Light a candle on birthdays. Visit their favorite place. Cook their favorite meal. Small rituals anchor love in memory.

4. Seek therapy.
   Grief therapy isn’t about forgetting — it’s about understanding how to live with the loss. Therapists trained in complicated-grief therapy can help reframe painful memories into meaningful connection.

5. Move your body.
   Physical movement reduces stress hormones and restores emotional balance. Walks, hikes, or yoga can quiet the noise in your mind long enough for peace to slip back in.

This might sound a little wacky, but it really works for me: I have mock conversations. I’ll go for a nature walk, put in my earbuds, and talk out loud to my parents, even though they’re not here. I don’t go to crowded places but with earbuds in, anyone I walk past just assumes I’m on a call. There’s something healing about it. Walking itself has proven psychological benefits. Walking lowers cortisol, improves circulation, and activates both sides of the brain, which helps you process emotions more clearly. The movement becomes meditative. You start to untangle what’s been bottled up inside. And sometimes, just speaking the words out loud leads to insights you didn’t know were waiting. Most importantly, it gives you space for emotional release, privately, safely, and without judgment.

The Science of Healing

A long-term study from the University of Memphis found that people who actively process grief — through talking, journaling, or counseling — experience a 40% faster emotional recovery than those who suppress it.

Neuroscientists at UCLA also discovered that naming emotions (like saying “I feel angry” or “I miss her”) reduces amygdala activation by up to 30%, calming the nervous system and improving emotional regulation.

In other words, talking about grief literally heals your brain.

Making Peace with What Time Leaves Behind

If I could go back and talk to my younger self, I’d say:
“Don’t wait for the perfect moment to say the important things.”

Because perfect moments rarely come.

Life is messy. Relationships are complicated. But silence leaves the heaviest weight of all, regret. I’ve started making time to talk with my parents more often. Not just about the past, but about right now - what they’re reading, what they’re proud of, what they want for the future.

It’s not always easy. Sometimes emotions show up uninvited. But I’ve learned that connection, even imperfect connection, is what heals us.

Therapy and Breathing Through Grief

When you’re grieving, therapy can feel intimidating. You might think, what’s talking going to change?

But grief isn’t meant to be solved — it’s meant to be shared. Therapists provide a safe space for the emotions that scare us most: guilt, anger, helplessness.

One of the simplest tools I learned through therapy was breathing through grief — using the 4-7-8 technique to calm emotional surges.

It’s the same exercise that helps with anxiety and burnout, but in grief, it does something powerful: it helps your body release the energy that sadness traps.

Every deep, controlled breath tells your nervous system, you’re safe to feel this.

Studies from Stanford Medicine and the National Institute of Health show that slow breathing can reduce the physical symptoms of grief-related stress by up to 25% — lowering blood pressure, stabilizing heart rhythm, and improving sleep.

It won’t erase the pain. But it will help you carry it more gently.

Closing Thoughts

Losing a parent changes you. It’s not something you “get over.” It’s something you grow around.

Like Ted Lasso, we learn that grief doesn’t vanish when you face it — but it becomes less heavy when you share it.

Grief is love with nowhere to go. The healing begins when you give it somewhere to land in memories, in laughter, in compassion.

So if you still have your parents, talk to them. If you’ve lost them, remember them. And if the pain still catches you off guard, that’s okay. It means they mattered.

Be kind to yourself. The heart heals slowly, but it does heal. And somewhere between the tears and the quiet, you’ll find gratitude — for the love that made the loss worth grieving.

If You’re Coping With Grief

If you or someone you love is struggling to process loss, you don’t have to go through it alone.

These national organizations offer free education, directories, and compassionate support:

• Grief Recovery Institute: griefrecoverymethod.com — evidence-based programs for navigating loss.

Benefit Airship’s BASE Plan also includes mental health counseling at no additional cost. Emotional wellness is just as important as physical health and we encourage every member to take full advantage of this service. Whether you’re managing stress, navigating life changes, or simply wanting to grow personally, professional counseling can make a powerful difference in your overall well-being.

If the sadness feels too heavy or constant, reach out for professional help. As Ted Lasso reminded us, asking for help isn't a weakness, it’s courage.

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Series: What Ted Lasso Taught Me About Mental Health

If you’ve ever laughed and cried in the same episode of Ted Lasso, you already understand why this show is a gift to mental health awareness. It tackled separation, loss, anxiety, and self-worth with humor and heart — showing that real strength lies in vulnerability.

In this series, I reflect on five life experiences — from divorce to burnout — and what Ted Lasso got right about healing, growth, and connection. Each article connects a personal story with professional insights from the American Psychological Association, National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), and other reputable sources.

The goal isn’t to preach — it’s to normalize. To talk, laugh, cry, and learn — together.