If you’ve watched Ted Lasso, you know the show isn’t really about soccer — it’s about people. And few storylines capture that better than Keeley Jones and Rebecca Welton’s journey through love, heartbreak, and self-discovery.
Keeley goes from dating the superstar Jamie Tartt (who loved himself a little too much), to finding a deeper, more genuine connection with Roy Kent — only for that relationship to end when life pulled them in different directions. And Rebecca, after her painful divorce, finds the courage to date again. She has awkward dinners, bad matches, and glimmers of something real — and through it all, she learns when to stay, when to go, and when to choose herself.
That’s the thread that runs through both their stories: love takes courage and sometimes the bravest thing you can do is walk away.
Love, Friendship, and the Spaces In Between
I’ve seen this play out over and over — with friends, with family, and yes, in my own life. I know people who married their first love and are still happily together decades later. I know others who’ve been divorced, healed, and found someone better aligned with who they’ve become.
Relationships are complex because people are complex. We’re all constantly evolving, we have different goals and agendas, and that means not every connection is meant to last forever.
Some people are meant to teach us, some to test us, and a few to walk beside us for the long haul. The hardest lesson is learning that endings aren’t failures, they are transitions.
The Psychology of Relationships
According to the American Psychological Association (APA), the foundation of healthy relationships rests on four pillars: emotional safety, mutual respect, communication, and self-awareness.
When those start to break down, relationships shift from nourishing to draining. The body even recognizes this imbalance — research shows that relationship conflict raises cortisol levels and suppresses immune function, while healthy relationships literally lower blood pressure and extend lifespan. In other words: love can heal, but unhealthy love can harm.
The University of Utah found that people in supportive, stable relationships had 35% lower stress-related illness rates than those in constant relational conflict. That’s not just about romance — that’s friendships, family, and community, too.
Knowing When to Stay and When to Let Go
Rebecca and Keeley both had to learn this lesson — that staying in a relationship out of fear, guilt, or nostalgia keeps both people stuck.
As the American Counseling Association (ACA) notes, one of the most common reasons people stay too long is emotional investment. You’ve built something — shared experiences, time, even identity — and it feels impossible to walk away from that history. But sometimes, letting go isn’t quitting; it’s creating space for growth.
Here’s what therapists often recommend as signs that it may be time to reevaluate:
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You feel anxious more than you feel loved.
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You’re shrinking yourself to avoid conflict.
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You’ve lost trust or respect, and it’s not being rebuilt.
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You’re staying because you’re afraid to be alone.
Letting go takes self-respect. Staying healthy takes humility. Both require courage.
How to Heal and Try Again
The end of a relationship can feel like emotional whiplash — a mix of grief, relief, confusion, and self-doubt. But science gives us hope: the same neuroplasticity that lets us fall in love also helps us recover.
The University of Colorado Boulder found that people who intentionally reframed their breakup — seeing it as an opportunity for growth instead of rejection — showed improved emotional resilience within just six weeks. In other words, your brain can be retrained to heal faster through perspective.
Here’s what helps:
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Give yourself permission to grieve.
Love lost is still love felt. Grieving it is healthy. -
Reconnect with your identity.
Do the things you put aside — hobbies, friendships, passions. You existed before this relationship, and you still do. -
Don’t rush into “replacement relationships.”
New love won’t fill the space of old pain. Give yourself time to understand what you truly need. -
Therapy helps you see your patterns.
It’s not about blame; it’s about awareness. What drew you in? What made you stay? What did you ignore? Those answers build better love next time. -
Be open to love again — but from a healthier place.
The goal isn’t to find someone perfect. It’s to become whole enough to attract someone who meets you there.
The Science of Self-Love
Before you can build a healthy relationship with someone else, you have to build one with yourself.
Self-love isn’t about bubble baths or hashtags — it’s about understanding who you are and being comfortable in your own company. It’s the quiet confidence that comes from knowing your values, your limits, your dreams, and what happiness looks like for you.
Research from the American Psychological Association (APA) shows that self-understanding is the cornerstone of emotional intelligence — and people with strong self-awareness make healthier, more secure partners. When you’re grounded in who you are, you don’t chase validation, and you don’t lose yourself trying to please others.
Learning to enjoy your own company is one of the most underrated skills in life. When you can sit in silence without reaching for distraction, go to diner alone, travel solo without feeling lonely, or pursue goals that belong solely to you — that’s strength. That’s peace.
And here’s the beautiful part: once you truly know yourself, you’ll know exactly how another person fits into your life. You’ll choose partners who complement your path, not define it. You’ll attract relationships built on mutual respect, not dependence.
The healthiest love begins when two whole people decide to walk together — not when one person is looking for someone to fill the empty spaces.
Small, Everyday Ways to Rebuild
Here are simple, proven ways to reconnect with yourself and rebuild after heartbreak — small steps that can lead to big changes:
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Go for daily walks. Movement lowers cortisol and helps you process lingering emotions.
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Journal the truth. Write what you couldn’t say. It gives your thoughts a home outside your head.
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Practice mindfulness. Ten minutes of quiet reflection helps you focus on today instead of replaying the past.
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Have “mock conversations.” Talk out loud — even to yourself — to process unfinished emotions. It’s amazing what clarity surfaces when you hear your own voice.
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Laugh again. Humor resets perspective and reminds you that joy still exists.
Therapy: The Reset Button for Relationships
Therapy isn’t just for when things are broken — it’s for when you’re rebuilding.
Working with a therapist helps you unpack patterns that follow you from one relationship to the next: fear of rejection, over-giving, avoiding conflict, or self-sabotage. The APA calls this “attachment awareness,” and it’s the single most effective predictor of long-term relational success.
A study from The Journal of Marital and Family Therapy found that 88% of individuals who attended counseling after a breakup reported greater emotional understanding, forgiveness, and healthier boundaries within three months.
Therapy helps you stop repeating the same story — and start writing a better one.
Closing Thoughts
Keeley and Rebecca’s journeys remind us that love is a teacher — not just when it begins, but when it ends.
It’s easy to see heartbreak as failure, but the truth is, every relationship leaves us with more insight, more empathy, and a deeper sense of who we are.
Love, when done right, doesn’t complete you — it complements you. And sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is let go with grace. So if you’re starting over, remember: every sunrise is proof that new beginnings exist. Heal. Laugh. Try again.
The right love, the kind that builds you up instead of breaks you down, will recognize you when you’re ready. And until then, love yourself like you’re the person you’ve been waiting for.
If You’re Navigating Love, Loss, or Relationship Change
Benefit Airship’s BASE Plan includes mental health counseling at no additional cost. Emotional wellness is just as important as physical health and we encourage every member to take full advantage of this service. Whether you’re managing stress, navigating life changes, or simply wanting to grow personally, professional counseling can make a powerful difference in your overall well-being.
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Series: What Ted Lasso Taught Me About Mental Health
If you’ve ever laughed and cried in the same episode of Ted Lasso, you already understand why this show is a gift to mental health awareness. It tackled separation, loss, anxiety, and self-worth with humor and heart — showing that real strength lies in vulnerability.
In this series, I reflect on five life experiences — from divorce to burnout — and what Ted Lasso got right about healing, growth, and connection. Each article connects a personal story with professional insights from the American Psychological Association, National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), and other reputable sources.
The goal isn’t to preach — it’s to normalize. To talk, laugh, cry, and learn — together.
