I still remember watching Ted Lasso’s marriage fall apart in season one — that quiet hotel scene where he signs the papers, smiles through the heartbreak, and tells his wife he just wants her to be happy. I sat there thinking, man, that’s brutal — and brave.

Meanwhile, Rebecca Welton’s divorce was an entirely different storm: betrayal, humiliation, revenge. Same pain, different path. Both showed how no matter how love ends — through distance or disaster — it leaves fingerprints on every part of your life. And let’s be honest: Statistically it’s something most of us will either experience or witness up close.

The Pandemic of Divorce

During COVID, I watched nearly a dozen couples — friends, colleagues, people I admired — get divorced.

Some split over infidelity. Some had more severe circumstances. Others were trapped together long enough to realize how different they’d become.

I saw quick divorces that were almost surgical — short, clean, and final. And I saw the ones that dragged on for years, with custody battles, financial fights, and emotional warfare. Every one of them came out the other side changed. Scarred, yes — but also wiser, calmer, and in many cases, stronger.

It got me thinking about my own marriage. We’ve had our share of frustration and silence. You don’t live through decades together without hitting turbulence. When it works, it’s incredible. When it’s hard, it affects everything — your sleep, your patience, your parenting, your work.

Even when you’re not divorcing, the stress of trying not to can feel like an emotional workout you never trained for.

The Psychology of Divorce

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), divorce ranks as one of the most stressful life events — right up there with the death of a loved one.

It’s not just emotional; it’s biological. Your brain literally registers it as loss and reacts with the same survival responses as grief. That’s why you can feel numb one day and angry the next. You’re not “crazy” — your brain is trying to rewire itself.

If you’re a science nerd like me you want to know what is biologically happening. Here you go:

• Your amygdala (the part that processes fear) goes into overdrive. Stress hormones like cortisol spike.

• Your prefrontal cortex (the logical, problem-solving part) takes a backseat.

• Your sleep, appetite, and immune system all get thrown WAY off.

That’s why even small tasks feel overwhelming. It’s not weakness — it’s biology.

Identifying the Hidden Impact

Here are a few subtle ways divorce or relationship strain shows up in daily life:

• You feel emotionally “flat,” even during moments that should bring joy.

• You isolate more — not wanting to burden others or face questions.

• You replay memories in your head like reruns you can’t turn off.
  You notice physical symptoms: headaches, fatigue, digestive issues.

• You find yourself angry at things that never used to bother you.

If that’s you — or someone close to you — it’s time to pause and ask for help.

What Helps: Healing and Rebuilding

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) and American Counseling Association (ACA) both emphasize one clear message: 

You don’t have to do this alone.

Here are proven ways to navigate emotional recovery:

1. Talk about it — but choose your audience wisely.
   Friends are great for empathy, but therapists are trained for healing. Therapy helps you reframe pain into perspective and release guilt that doesn’t belong to you.

2. Keep a routine.
   Divorce disrupts everything. Routine restores predictability — and predictability reduces anxiety.

3. Move your body.
   Exercise is one of the best natural antidepressants we have. Walk, stretch, punch a punching bag or a pillow — whatever helps. Allow yourself to get it out.

4. Rediscover identity.
   Divorce isn’t just losing a partner — it’s losing a version of yourself. Try new things. Reconnect with old passions. Build your next chapter with intention.

5. Forgive — not to let them off the hook, but to free yourself from carrying them.
   
   

How to Support Someone Going Through Divorce

If you know someone navigating this, don’t give them advice — give them space.

Say things like:

“You don’t owe me an explanation.”
“I’m here for whatever you need — or nothing at all.”
 “You’re allowed to feel however you feel.”

That kind of compassion heals more than any pep talk ever will. When someone’s going through divorce, they’re a roller coaster — some days composed, other days falling apart without warning. Be a steady hand, not a critic. Be the friend who can drop everything when they need to talk (or cry) at 10 p.m. Don’t expect thanks or recognition — that just adds pressure to someone already running on empty. Your role is to be selfless, patient, and safe. Let them be selfish for a while. They need that space to focus on healing themselves before they can show up for anyone else.

Therapy: The Real-Life “Lasso Effect”

Jason Sudeikis, who plays Ted Lasso, has openly shared how therapy helped him through his own divorce and anxiety. He once said, “It’s not about fixing yourself — it’s about knowing yourself.”

That’s exactly it. Therapy isn’t about finding fault. It’s about learning to sit with your emotions, understand your patterns, and build resilience. You don’t go to therapy because you’re broken. You go because you’re human.

Closing Thoughts

Divorce isn’t failure. It feels like failure. You think others will perceive it as failure. It’s not. It’s a fork in the road. I have friends that have been rebuilt and renewed by divorce. They’ve grown in huge, unexpected ways and they are the best version of themselves.

Some paths lead back together. Others lead to a new version of you — one that’s more grounded, wiser, and maybe even happier. If you’re in Ted Lasso Season 1, you’ll see how to keep your heart open. Let it hurt. Let it heal. And remember that a hurt free future is ahead of you — as Ted said — “Believe.”

If You’re Navigating Love, Loss, or Relationship Change

Benefit Airship’s BASE Plan includes mental health counseling at no additional cost. Emotional wellness is just as important as physical health and we encourage every member to take full advantage of this service. Whether you’re managing stress, navigating life changes, or simply wanting to grow personally, professional counseling can make a powerful difference in your overall well-being.

------

Series: What Ted Lasso Taught Me About Mental Health

If you’ve ever laughed and cried in the same episode of Ted Lasso, you already understand why this show is a gift to mental health awareness. It tackled separation, loss, anxiety, and self-worth with humor and heart — showing that real strength lies in vulnerability.

In this series, I reflect on five life experiences — from divorce to burnout — and what Ted Lasso got right about healing, growth, and connection. Each article connects a personal story with professional insights from the American Psychological Association, National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), and other reputable sources.

The goal isn’t to preach — it’s to normalize. To talk, laugh, cry, and learn — together.